When you gotta go, you gotta go..

Other

I was in the navy aboard a submarine when this happened. I was "on watch" in the engine room this one night and I had to take a terrible shit. You can't leave your area though when on watch so I was holding it for a few hours till my relief was to show up. Eventually it got to the point I couldn't hold it so I got a garbage bag, squated over it and took a huge dump into it. And I mean HUGE. Now I gotta figure out how to get rid of this so I tie up the bag real tight and start wrapping it in tape so nobody tries to open it. Then I dropped it into the trash can with the expectation I would come back after I ate so I could put the "taped up ball of shit" into the right place where it would get shot overboard with other squishy,wet,waste (food, etc.)
This was important cause all other waste is compacted into cans to save space before being shot overboard. Well, it just so happens that towards the end of my watch an announcement comes out that we will be surfacing for a swim call. I hadn't seen the sun in a few months so I was estatic and completly forgot about my shit ball. I never went back to get it and after swimming went to sleep in my rack.

So the next guy on watch finishes his shift then does the proper thing and goes back to retrieve the trash. Not knowing what the strange tape-ball contains he drops it into the compactor and fires up the hydrualics. The can the trash gets compressed in has holes all around it so it will dissolve easier in the ocean. As the trash compacts my tapeball bursts open and shit is squeezed out the can holes like play-doh. It makes a disgusting mess everywhere. Even worse, the mess decks are only about 15 ft. from the compactor so everyone eating gets a shit aroma all around them.

Needless to say, I caught some major grief over this incident.
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